I have been busy living a cat life.
Literally and metaphorically.
I blame not updating my blog on writer's block and
the inability of me finding the right words to describe the whirlwind of
emotions I experienced over the last months.
It terrifies me to think that I reached
a point where I was actually convinced that I didn't stand a cat in hell's
chance of getting better. My mental and physical health both were heading
downwards in a seemingly free fall.
I was completely exhausted and at my wits' end.
I would have landed flat on my back if it wasn't
for the unconditional love from my family, the endless support from some very
special friends and the help I received from the doctors and nurses caring for
me.
Landing on my feet was the solid
foundation I needed to put things back into perspective. Slowly but surely
I was able to rebuild some of what I had lost. Regaining
independence was a huge milestone. I advanced from being pushed around
in a wheelchair to whizzing around on an electrical scooter. The day I walked 2
km surrounded by nature I knew I was actually living again.
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Cat righting reflex |
I feel ready but equally scared starting this new
chapter.
Adrenalin from excitement definitely will help me
to push through the first weeks of university but I know I
have set myself up for failure if I don't make some drastic changes.
I need to work on letting go of my "all or
nothing mindset" and actually start pacing myself sensibly. I worked too
hard on getting my health back to this point to simply undo all this progress
again.
Just knowing it's up to me to decide if I can do it
has put my mind at ease.
This has been a huge accomplishment so far
and I'm growing with this challenge no matter what!
